Why am I doing this now? Am I just now waking up? Why the hell did it take me so long? These are just some of the questions I am asking myself as I think about what to include in this page.
Where I am at right has a lot to do with the last 2 and 1/2 years. It was around that time that I bought my first house. I was living with an ex and decided to fix my house while living with her. Flash forward a year later in summer of 2008 when I start major remodeling, my girl decides to call it quits.
So there I am living in a gutted house with holes in the floor and walls, no water, nor plumbing and limited electricity. By the way this whole time, because of the mortgage, gotta make sure I’m tending to my forty hour work obligation in order to pay the bills. Two months into it, I meet this other great chic who I’ve been hanging out with on a frequent basis. All I can say is it’s been a heavy, heavy year and a half.
I finished the first stage of remodeling around the end of 2009. Finally, I have a presentable and more importantly livable space that I call my own. Here I am in my own space -I have time to breath, relax and reflect. What do I do now?
I’ve become aware that it’s been a while, a long while since I’ve flown solo. Most of my previous relationships have been long term and they haven’t been the healthiest either. I’m realizing that because of fear of being alone I’ve compromised my dreams and needs in order to be in a relationship. I don’t want this anymore.
And fortunately I don’t have to. I don’t have any pets or kids. My only obligation is my job, which for the most part I actually enjoy. Apart from that I can do what I want when I want and ultimately I realize I am responsible for the sole outcome.
Coming back to what now? What do I do? How do I restructure my life to one that’s positive, that I enjoy and that will allow me to feel satisfied? That is what this is all about- you hear people talk about mind, body and soul all the time. So I figured there’s probably great value in those concepts.